Meeting women online is one of the fastest growing ways to date, and chances are you already have a few profiles on popular adult dating sites. Talking to women on dating sites is simpler than ever because it removes some of the anxiety that comes from walking up to women in person and trying to strike up a conversation with them, all the while trying to avoid being rejected or embarrassed. After all, the worst that can really happen when you send a message to a woman on a dating site is that you won’t get a response back from her. It’s hardly the end of the world, and certainly better than risking having a drink thrown in your face.
Managing to convince women to meet you in person, however, is an entirely different matter. For some reasons girls seem to go on popular adult dating sites without having any intention of meeting up with any of the guys that message them. This is understandable if they happen to be using one of the terrible and clunky sites like Jalf.com, but if you’re on any adult dating site that’s popular and worth its salt, this simply does not make sense. After all, the whole point of being on a dating site is to meet up with each other after a certain point, right?
The problem a lot of women have is that it can be nerve-wracking to meet up with a guy that they’ve only ever talked to on the internet. It’s different in the bar scene, where you approach each other face-to-face for the first time and she can generally tell if the guys who are talking to her are creepy. It’s different when you meet someone online, so she’s going to be cautious. After all, she may have had bad experiences with meeting up with guys she met on terrible sites like Jalf.com in the past. There are some things you can do to reassure her that everything will be fine when you meet up in person, and keep her from dragging her feet about meeting.
Don’t Bring It Up Too Soon
The worst thing you can do when trying to get women to meet you in person is to bring it up too quickly. Nothing will make a woman backpedal harder, and chances are that if you bring it up too soon she will not want to meet you later on, even if she’s more comfortable with you by then. You need to be careful when deciding to bring up the possibility, but how do you know if it’s too soon?
At the very least, you should be waiting until you’ve been chatting for a few days. This doesn’t need to be constant communication. You should have messaged her a few times and had several different conversations. Make sure she seems like she’s into you, though it can be difficult to tell through text. A week or two is the best time to wait before bringing up the possibility of meeting in person. Whatever you do, just don’t suggest it on the first message or before a day or two has passed. You can gauge how long you should wait by the conversations you’re having with her, generally – the more interested she seems and the faster she responds to you, the sooner you can probably ask her to meet.
Let Her Pick the Time and Location
If the woman you’re chatting with has expressed any concern about meeting up in person, you need to make her comfortable with the idea. You should make sure to treat her concerns like they’re valid, even if you don’t understand why she would be nervous. One way you can really show that you take her and her needs seriously is to suggest that she pick the time and place for your meeting or date. This puts the control of the situation in her court, at least a little bit. Doing this will make her feel more comfortable with the idea of meeting up, because she can pick somewhere she feels safe and comfortable. The added benefit to this is that not only is she more likely to meet up with you, but you get to meet up somewhere she probably likes, which means she’s going to be more relaxed.
If she seems adverse to the idea of picking the place for you to meet, that’s okay. She may just have the normal jitters that come with meeting someone new. You should let her know that the option is always on the table if she wants to pick where to go, but then you can feel free to suggest other places to meet.
A good place to suggest if she has no ideas where to meet would be a coffee shop or somewhere else that’s crowded and casual. The more people that are around, the more comfortable she is likely to be with meeting up with you. A restaurant might be fine for a first date, but going to a restaurant can almost seem like constraints, since you have to wait for a table and you generally can’t just stand up and leave whenever you want. If you want to pick a restaurant, choose something more casual than formal, and make sure it’s a popular place.
Suggest Meeting With Friends
If she seems super nervous about meeting up with you, you should suggest meeting up with a group of friends and not one-on-on. It’s not really ideal and you probably don’t want to be surrounded by other people when you meet up with a girl you want to hook up with or date, but it can take a lot of pressure off of her shoulders. If you meet up with one or two friends at the same time, it can create a more casual environment. Ideally and at minimum, you should be meeting up with a friend of yours and a friend of hers. This way she has someone she’s comfortable with to be there with her while you hang out, and you have a wingman or two if you need one.
Meeting up with friends can have benefits for you, too. If for some reason you don’t wind up liking the woman you’re meeting up with, you can always just go off with your friends without it being a big deal. It would be much more awkward if you met up with her alone and had to try and make a hasty exit to break things off. On the other hand, you can always bring your favorite wingman with you if you need some help getting things moving along. All in all, having other people with you when you meet for the first time is a really good way to make her feel more comfortable with the situation, and it will show her that you’ve been thinking about her comfort and how to make her feel safer when meeting up with people she met online. If nothing else, this is bound to score you some points with her and make you seem like a considerate guy, which is probably more than can be said for most of the guys she meets up with.
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